The sleep saga continues.

Well, here we are. We are finally working on Amos sleeping in his own bed, through the night. We are trying to help him fall asleep on his own, and not crawl into bed with us until the sun is up. We talked about starting this on our date, Wednesday, but due to some father/son themes in the movie, we couldn't bear to hear him cry all night, that night. So, I began with the nap on Thursday. I put Amos down for his nap around 1:15. He proceeded to cry/scream/yell at me on and off until 4:45 when I got him up to get ready for our dinner plans with a family at church. Sensing he was hungry, but not having time for a full snack, I nursed him and then laid him on our bed while I changed. Of course, he fell asleep, and slept through me putting his coat on, in his carseat and picking up Nathan. That night, he was tired and ready for bed at the usual time and was a bit subdued at our dinner, even with all the kids running around. Nathan put him in bed and had to repeatedly go in and get him to lie back down. But eventually Amos didn't get back up and went to sleep. It all took about an hour and 15 minutes. He woke up a bunch through the night and each time we would either let him cry or Nathan would tell him to lie down and go to sleep. By the morning, we were excited that Amos was still in his bed even thought he had woken up a bunch, we were happy that we made it through the night with one less person in our bed!
Yesterday for nap, Amos protested. And when I went in to check on him 45 minutes after putting him down, I discovered that he had a poopy diaper and was hungry. So we had lunch and then he went back to bed, where he screamed for another few hours. It got to the point again where he was just mad at me, there were no tears and his standing up in his bed was how he got me back in his room. So I stopped going in there and finally got him up at 6 PM so that he wouldn't be up all night if he did finally go to sleep. It was hard not to be mad at him, so much so that I couldn't hold him and didn't want to "reward" him. So even though he wasn't happy about that, I made him crawl down the stairs, to the kitchen for dinner. After dinner he wanted to be held but I was so frustrated that Da-da had to comfort him. Finally, after some drumming and a bath, Nathan brought him downstairs and we cuddled for a few minutes. Then it was time for bed. And he protested, again. I finally was able to stand out in the hall, telling Amos good-night, an hour after I put him down. I really needed to win that battle, as it had been a discouraging day and Amos needed to know to respect and obey me, as well as his dad.
The night went well. Amos slept for awhile, since he had been crying alot and didn't nap. When he woke up around midnight, Nathan gave him more tylenol and told him to lie down and go to sleep. At 2 he woke up, as a car was stuck nearby and being super loud. But when he was awake, he stopped crying and started talking to himself. We lay in bed and laughed. We think he slept from then on to about 7:45 this morning, which encouraged us a whole lot. But he was not his usual bubbly self--you could tell he's had less sleep than usual in the past few days. After breakfast he was tired and clingy, so here we are trying again. I made him stay up for awhile and put him down around 11:15. At 11:45 I went to check on him and lo and behold, he had a yucky diaper. So he went back in his bed, but was standing up in protest after I left. So, we're hoping he tires out and falls asleep. We know he's ok. It's hard not to comfort him but it's really time for us to be doing this, and we are encouraged with the progress we've made and hope to keep things consistent.
The whole sleep thing has always been tough for us, with Amos. Being a preemie, we were not ever supposed to let him "cry it out" for fear of burning precious calories and were always told to feed him if he wakes up, again, to help him get extra calories. While I've not slept through the night in a year and a half (save for a few nights here and there), Amos was sleeping in his own bed, most of the night. I did not want to become one of "those people" that did the family bed thing. It did not sound appealing to me to have no break from your child(ren) and no cuddle space. But as we packed up Amos' bed this summer and tried to get him to sleep in the play pen, he would not have it and thus, ended up in our bed, and out of sheer need for sleep, we allowed it. Since then, he has been slowly but surely spending more time in bed with us. I have definitely felt my reasons for not wanting family bed in the first place, but have also been brought to a place of humility for being so harsh and judgemental on people and their kids. God is using Amos and his trials to humble me and remind me that I don't know everything. I know that if we have another child, that I will do things differently and offer the same advice to my sister and friends who are pregnant with their firsts. Getting a baby to sleep on their own is alot easier than getting a toddler to sleep on their own, mainly because all the baby does is cry--they can't stand up yet, and that adds a whole other element!
This whole journey with Amos has been one unlike any other child I've known or cared for and so this season, like all the others, is both challenging but hopeful, as we know Amos is ready to be pushed and will be all the better for it.