Somehow, walking off the plane, I had a hard time saying that we were home, as I felt like I was just home. It was tough to leave Seattle. I watched out the back window as we drove south toward the airport and savored seeing the Space Needle and the vast spread of buildings. If I were by myself (as I used to be when I'd visit Nathan), I probably would have sobbed buckets and buckets of tears. But getting onto the plane kept me distracted from my inner thoughts.
You all are probably tired of hearing about this inner battle that's going on, of loving the place we used to live, not loving where we are now. Me, too. I am tired of not loving Indy; of being new to this city and not knowing everyone or where everything is. I know it takes time, but I am tired and I'm ready to be done with this phase. I need to trust God that he'll give me that contentment, a heart for Indianapolis, clear reasons and understanding for why we moved here, and most of all comfort as I make my way through this phase of being new, in the unfamiliar and not as beautiful. I keep reminding myself that we are dwelling in an earthly tent, that heaven his our home and that my identity is in Christ, not in where I live.
That being said, our trip today was really great. I feel so blessed that both days of travel on this trip were super easy, that Amos did so well, sleeping and managing to stay on his schedule and that he didn't have any freakouts. It's 1:30 am and we're all starting to wind down; we're trying to get Amos to bed but I think he's too excited to be home!
A giant picture post is coming, so stay tuned!
2 comments:
I can relate to the inner struggle. :-)
Sarah, I am praying for you ( and for us). Jesus sure understands the pain of separation that we are all feeling. God's spirit can bring us comfort and joy. That's what I'm asking for. Love you, Laura
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